I don't need to tell anyone in this country how hard it is to communicate with 50% of the people you meet. I have people in my family who voted Trump. And since that statement pretty much means that I didn't, you can only image how it's been. We think the other is either misinformed, stupid or trying to destroy the country. Am I right? Both sides see the other as the enemy. I will not spout off my beliefs because it doesn't matter. I don't want to lose half of you right now. And the half I don't lose, I don't want to add to your flames. The truth is it's hard to have any compassion for either side.
These last few years no one seems to be listening, no one seems to want to listen. No one is talking and coming to middle ground, rather, everyone seems to raise their voices. Nothing gets done.
As a point of reference here, I work in the service industry during the administrations of George W. Bush, Barrack Obama, Donald Trump and Joe Biden. I can tell you that the tips were higher, generally speaking, during the democratic years. Incidentally, having to hold my tongue happened the most during the Trump years. Too many people thought that I was a good sounding board for all sorts of stupid shit, after all, if I was rude, I would not get a tip. My whole frame of political culture in America is as a waiter, and there is no refuting that. I still believe that servers can tell you the health of the country with a great amount of precision.
Leaving that behind, it's taken me well over a year to feel okay about the society in which we live, at least on a micro level. I'm better able to negotiate the people and places in my neighborhood. I now longer dread the aging boomer on the street nor the white guy in his Trump bumper stickered pickup truck. I just don't make eye contact. On a macro level, I've become increasingly concerned about the health of the country in general. This conservative backlash is very reminiscent of the rise of fascism, or governments like the Taliban. Plus, for me, I see really obvious hypocrisy in it. I say that only because of one test which I give my ultra conservative righties. When the subject of abortion comes and they are violently, vehemently opposed to it, I ask: “Where do you fall on the death penalty?” It doesn't matter what I believe, but I ask this: why are so many pro-lifers also pro death penalty?
What I feel like really needs to happen is something I feel like needs to happen inside of me, inside of my thoughts. I mean, I feel like I'm a reasonable person. I'm a reasonably intelligent person. I know that I have many advantages over most people. I know when I leave my house nothing bad will happen to me. I think I am a complex person who has had great life experiences that have led me to think the thoughts and feel the feelings that I have. Therefore, why wouldn't I think the exact same thing about everyone else on Earth? I should, and I want to.
When it comes to compassion, it has many faces. I think when someone gets angrily discounted in any way, it makes it easier to strike back. Think about it, when you have a thought or a feeling, and someone discounts that thought or feeling, how do you feel? I tend to think: fuck you, and I turn my back. Not the best way of dealing with it.
I guess at this stage of my life, and this stage of American life, I'm starting to think about compassion as a way of seeing the world. I can't help think about how we treat each other and polarization or tribalism that seems to be emerging. When I think about the people in my neighborhood, or in the greater part of the region where I live, we have so much more in common than not. What would happen if we treated each other with compassion and respect other than asking someone how they voted?
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