NaNoWriMo 2023, part 3

I have so many feelings right now with my NaNoWriMo manuscript that I am really unable to order them. It's really the reworking of Twenty-four Hours in Vancouver that I'm overwhelmed with. I did not feel the way that I do now when I wrote the original story 24 years ago.

Twenty for years is such a long time.

I was thinking about things the other day when we went to the Veteran's Day Parade. I was thinking about it because so much of my current novel and all the novels that involve Sam Foley, the main character of Twenty-four Hours in Vancouver, has so much to do with being a veteran. Specifically, a veteran of war. I suppose all veterans deal with their part in the war in different ways. I say this, because there is nothing more unattractive to me than seeing old men wearing the uniform of their younger selves like they're trying to prove something. I mean, most of us were in the military for short amounts of time, 2 to 4 years mostly. Why try to relive that? It puts me off.

But, I am no different. I may not be trying to squeeze into the uniform that fit my teenaged body, but I am writing about it. I write about being a veteran, not about being a soldier. All of the stories that stem from Undertakers of Rain that involve either Sam or John or both, are only colored by being vets. The thing is, these characters are ten years later from their war. My characters are not going to parades and they are not trying to relive their glory days because they are still living their days.

Perhaps that's it. The whole thing is about reliving the glory days, I don't know. The old timers at the parade are reliving their late teens, the point in their lives when innocence was lost. Point a weapon at another human being and pull the trigger and there is no way to retain any semblance of innocence. But what about me? I wrote Twenty-four Hours in Vancouver 24 years ago and all the subsequent stories I've written, the ones with John and Sam are set at that point in my life, the point about 24 years ago when I was the age that the characters are now, the age they will always be. What does that say about me?

It has been a fascinating glimpse into the person I was when I wrote the original draft. It's been an interesting examination of where my imagination is, where it has settled and the part of my life that I put on as a too small former uniform.