Monday, June 9, 2014

Such a Sunny Day

Such a Sunny Day
It wasn't really meant to go on for long. The duration is something like the length of side A of your favorite 45. It cannot last longer than the instant it takes the sun to travel between one blanket of clouds to the next. One small instant.

In that instant, there were the winks and blinks of those who were cut down too soon in life, accidents, murder and suicide. Perhaps, worse still, cut down by sickness and cancer and freakishly rare viruses.

Hey, hey, flip the record.

The brevity of it is severe. It is. Here it was, some time back, shortly after the war when you wandered into the VFW with an old vet. By the time you walked back out again, there were no other vets older than you.

Your house is your house, but you do not recognize it. It's filled with a lifetime of living: furniture, china, empty beer cans. There are distantly familiar photos of family members who you spawn, your progeny who have grown from little league to college degrees and homes of their own.

What the hell happened here. On the way to Iraq, the Vietnam guys seemed so fucking old. When you were on your way to Vietnam there were the old soldiers who seemed ancient and their Great War was diminished to WWI. And on the way to fight the Germans, either time, there were those Spanish-American War vets.

On the corner by the college, the pigeons pooled around the upset trashcan. The people milled around looking a bit like the pigeons. It was not an easy day. It was not an easy day because no day is particularly easy. What do these people know about it? What do these people know about anything?

Two deep breaths later, exhaust of cigarette tar and stale beer, the moment of forgiveness came. It was not my fault that in my youth I opened fire upon raghead-gook-jerry-spic-mother-fuckers. It was not my fault that the ghosts hung on my fading uniform during the lifetime of rain. It was not my fault that I made it through the war alive and learned to love the people I fought. It was not my fault. I joined the cause before I could vote.

It only takes one instant on a sunny autumn day, by the college, all the leaves having fallen from the trees in the night, for this realization to happen.

Eventually, everything dies. Eventually, every scoundrel will confess his trespasses and beg for forgiveness. The true scoundrel will ask for redemption from God. God does not need to grant forgiveness.

For every soldier who fell, and all of those who did not become engendered, these are the ones we need to ask for forgiveness.

For every soldier who did not fall and who never recovered, everyone should asked them for forgiveness and beg mercy from all who they engendered.

It's easier to do this on a sunny day when suddenly you've waken up so much older.

Hey, hey, flip the record.

Hopefully there is a nicer song on the other side. Some song about love or the love of love. Love songs seem more universal than love itself.

Such a sunny day is well deserving of a love song.

Such a sunny day is well deserving of love.

Such a sunny day is well deserving.

Such a sunny day is well.

Such a sunny day.

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