Ennui

Perhaps there is no real cure for ennui. Perhaps a person is just predisposed to boredom and chronic suffers have no choice.

I've tried over the years to avoid ennui. I feel like many of my peers battle it too. I feel like a high stress job and job title helps to combat it because it provides a distraction. Prescription drugs and reality TV do this too. The pursuit of materialism, hedonism; sports, politics and spiritualism are distractions too. But do these things really cure ennui?

Ennui follows me because I'm only slightly more intelligent than I wish to be and I'm only slightly dimmer that I could be. I figure if I was just a little dimmer I could live like I think some people do, I could gladly chain myself to any number of institutions: work, sports, politics or church. And if I was more intelligent, I could lose myself in some sort of higher thought which I cannot conceive with my current faculties.

That's life.

At this point, what?

Just do what you have to do, these are my words. When I get that feeling of ennui, I mean, what else can I do? The state of my mental health depends on those hours a day when I get to write. I think many people feel the same way. I think it comes down to expression. If it's not writing, it might be painting, or music, or whatever. It's creation. And outside of that, we really don't have much going for us. And as far as the ennui goes, who's to say? Just create something. Make love, make art. Make something beautiful, something scary. Anything. And I bet the ennui shrinks, even if it's very unnoticeable.