It's happening again as it has happened
before and I am certain it will all happen again. We were in the
garage at my mother's house a few days back. As we were taking off
our shoes, I whispered to my wife: “I wish I wasn't such an
asshole.” I got no response from her. Perhaps she wishes I wasn't
such an asshole too.
The thought came, of course, because I
really am an asshole. Moments before this statement, we'd been eating
tacos on a Sunday afternoon. It really should have been a happy
occasion. I mean, tacos. I was with my family, my wife, my son, my
parents. I love these people, I really do love them. Honestly, I like
these people. Trump came up in conversation. Let it be known, Trump
is not my problem. I vote third party. Trump followers, they are not
my problem either. And America? I wore the uniform once, went half
way across the world to shoot at people who, also, not my problem. I
love America. I love that I can say what I want and for 240 years,
it's been my right to say what I want. Trump is a piece of shit. He's
a piece of shit and he really isn't my problem. I really don't care.
So why do I get involved in any political debates?
I'm asshole because I said hasty
things. I say hasty things. I say hasty things because I'm always
getting involved in conversations when I shouldn't. Trump is a good
case in point. There are other things too, all manners of
conversations.
I don't watch tv. I don't follow the
news, neither the conservative nor the liberal. I see no difference
between the right and the left. Go too far either way, you'll become
a book burner. I don't follow sports, I do not prescribe to religion.
And as already ascertained, I don't care for politics. This in itself
does not make me an asshole.
What makes me an asshole is that I
should not contribute to at least 99% of the conversations that I get
mired in. After all, I really should be kind to others and they do
not need me to stir up emotion when at the heart of it all, I don't
care. I mean, tv? To me it's sports, reality and news mixed cleverly
with ads for pills, processed food and cars. I feel like I art is the
highest form of human expression, and reality tv, sports broadcasts
and political debates are the complete antithesis of art. Hell, they
are the antithesis of human.
There was a time when our conversations
were about books, rock bands, funny anecdotes. Have things changed?
Are we so inundated with screens and instant information that we have
no choice but to know all about the doings of the highly organized
things that require uniforms and worse still, uniformed thinking? Or
am I just so far removed from a life where people seemed interested
in better things?
The grand summation? Nothing. For me,
I'm asshole. I know I'm not alone. I know there are others who feel
the way I do. I see the book clubs. I see people making art, and I
see some pretending to make art, too.
If there is a time to make art, it's
now. Now is the time. The screens are failing us, especially the
pills, processed food and cars. So, stop reading this. Go outside,
read a book, make art.
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